this mess we're in...

I wonder if
his words
meant as much
as his silence

If his kisses
were apologies
for things to come

If his drunken gaze
was actually eyes desperately searching
for the girl
i was not.


Well, I guess that I was right. In his words, "listen, i think you're a great person, perhaps we didn't hit it off like you had hoped and well i was never looking for anything serious."

Funny how three weeks ago, I would have been much more accepting of those kinds of statements. Right now, they mean shit to me. After furious attempts to get back on my good side ("i never said that i didn't want to see you again...", "don't hate me" repeated to the tenth power), i just feel even more lost and alone than i did before all of this mess even started. I guess that when fantasy and reality come crashing together, all that you can hope for is to get out of it intact and unscathed. Unfortunately, for me, this situation lasted too long. Seeing as though i'm possibly one of the most sensitive people on this planet, well, you can imagine what kind of a state i'm in right now.

Does this ever end?